you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Panties = found
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize