You really coming over, don't trick.
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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