Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize