Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
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We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
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I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
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