and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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