I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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