i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize