ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
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