Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
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