I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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