I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
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He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
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so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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