it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize