At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize