Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
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FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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