i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
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