another moral hangover. fuck.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
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he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
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I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize