I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
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I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
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Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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