Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
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