I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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