Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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