Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I use my feet as sexual weapons
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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