please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
What a dumb baby whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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