absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
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