I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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