I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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