I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Randomize