instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize