The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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