remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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