I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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