There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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