Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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