I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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