Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
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He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
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My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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