I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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