I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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