The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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