Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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