They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize