Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize