we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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