So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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