her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Naked Twister starts at high noon
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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