Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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