Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
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i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
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Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
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