Kareoke will never be a sober sport
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
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