Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize