i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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