i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
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You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
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you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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