areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize